God only knows what I’d do without you

15 Aug

Asher in the morning

This morning when I left Asher, she was a little baby wearing a pink bib.

Going back to work has been an affair of mixed emotions. On one hand I have been really looking forward to going back to work. I enjoy my job, and have really really missed my profession over the past 3 months. On the other hand over the past week I have truly felt the emotional connection to Ash that I have been waiting for since she was born, and feel like I need to be home to draw that out even more.

People have been shocked to hear that I was going back to work so soon after having a baby. Is it really that unusual? Surely in this ‘tough to survive financial era’ more and more women are going back to work after less and less time at home. People are concerned about how ok I am with this. The fact is, I always knew that going back to work was inevitable, so maybe I just had to be ok with it.

Asher at bathtime

So how was my first day? As much as it felt a little strange to know that my two favourite people were at home all day without me, I’m not afraid to admit that it also felt nice not to have to think about keeping anyone but myself alive. When I came home and was bathing my daughter, for a fleeting moment she seemed less baby, and more little girl already. How did 9 hours go so quickly, yet so slowly. I want to hold onto this, and slow it down.

Asher, one day you will be a beautiful woman with your own accomplishments, yet in my mind you will still be my little baby in the pink bib. I’m storing it all. Having you to come home to  makes every day amazing.


PS: When did you become so much like your dad?! xx

Daddy's girl through and through already.




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